‘Dependence’ follows the basic Law of Nature. Like every other entity in Nature, it comes in two variants- Positive & Negative.
Positive dependence is growth
What exactly is a ‘positive’ dependence is difficult to theorize. But practical experience helps utilizing its benefit.
‘The thumb rule is: a positive dependence will always lead to mutual growth for two individuals.’
For instance, the mutual growth of two partners through their working together for a common cause is positive dependence. They depend on each other but generate growth between them- for each of them.
On the other side, what negative dependence does to You is anybody’s guess. Each one of us has plenty of hands-on experience on negative dependence as well.
The ’D’ in Doubt
The key tasks You face in managing your dependence are:
- Creating Positive Dependence (whose test is mutual growth)
- Eliminate Negative Dependence (anti-growth; smoking, a major negative dependence)
- Handling the ‘D’ of Doubtful Dependence: When unsure if your dependence is positive or negative, use this golden rule: ‘When in doubt, let go off your dependence’
Disposing your doubtful dependence comes not so much from the without as from the within.
‘Disposing your doubtful dependence implies rebuilding your inner strength.’
And it does not break relations between You and the other (material or living) being. Instead, it allows the relationship to take its natural course and grow as the Law permits it to.
It is about opportunities. Not about restraints.