I present to you the sharp points which you can absorb in your own way.
First consider this
When you “Worry” dedicatedly, consciously for a limited period of time, it is healthy.
Do you agree with above? Let me give you my perspective on this. Worrying is a natural function in us. Natural in the sense that we cannot deny that there is a sub-system inside our human organism complex which “worries”. This system is probably there to help us out in certain perplexing situations. Situations that need our attention. Worrying is a signal that this subsystem sends across all other systems/units highlighting that there is something to be attended to urgently. Do you think this is an ok function? I think so.
So when does “worrying” become painful to attend to? Often in our recent cultures and societies, worries have increased manifold. We call it “stress” these days. As a result, worrying becomes spread out, it is not a limited period experience (which as seen above has some purpose of alarm/action).
When worrying spreads and takes over the entire experience, it is truly “worrrisome”.
What is the solution?
Well, worrying is an experience. I see that one cannot approach this from a perpective where we try to “not worry”. Not worrying is abstract to the mind and one cannot successfully achieve “not worrying”, simply because it is a projected abstraction.
So first thing to relaize is that one’s mind at the present stage wants engagement, so can we try to replace “worrying” engagement with another non-abstract engagement like listening to music (especially instrumental), playing musical instruments, gardening, writing, painting. Notice that these activities are “touch and feel” experiences. They are not abstract. These activities are nice anti-dotes to worrying precisely because they are not mind’s symbols in the sense words and thoughts are. Simply because these activities are “hard stuff” (not symbols that fly across the mind at the speed of light!), they kinda settle the mind down. Try this.
Second point I wish to share is why worrying is painful when uncontrolled/stretched. You shall notice that worrying is a kind of multiple reflections of same thought chain (say something fear/worry of relationship/money/health issue) across the mirror called mind. Those who have studied reflection of light in mirrors know well that some reflecting configurations create resonance, ie light intensity increases due to multiple reflections. Uncontrolled worrying is very similar- one nagging thought chain continues to reflect many many times from the mirror called mind and its intensity builds up. This is why worrying becomes painful, because a sub-system whose job/function is to highlight worrisome situations is going awry.
Action on one’s part can include understanding that
- Worrying is a play in symbols (thoughts and words are symbols ie representations of real things, not real things themselves). Symbols obviously have a role to play but definitely need balancing with real stuff. So switch to non abstract activities and see if worrying decreases.
- Do not wish worrying issue away. It is infact ok to worry- only if the experience is limited to a dedicated window where you listen to the worrying happening inside. You can honour the key issue behind worrying by writing about it, or discussing it with some trusted person. You can also record and audio clip explaining to yourself that it is ok to worry. What is not ok is to worry always, for extended periods of time.